I've decided to squeak in one last post before this month comes to a close.
I have my title has "disappointment," because no matter how little the deciding factor can be it always hits home, and maybe even more so when your 3000 miles away from your real home.
I've been waiting for a package for just around 7 weeks now. It contains some really nice stuff, that would be a total bummer to lose. A package arrived today, and we thought for sure this was the one, but it wasn't. And no matter how grateful I was to receive that package, I was unable to control my disappointment. The tears came flowing.
I have to say that for the amount of time that I have been here and the change that I am going through, I have not cried as much as I am sure I need to. It is very rare that I get time alone, and I am not a big fan of public crying.
This post is not meant to be, well the way it is. I just wanted to write about how hard it is to have expectations be crushed, or better suited, hopes.
My time is going great. My body just this afternoon, died quite hard. So it will relish this "weekend" break. This weekend we are going to Mallorca, which is in the Baleares islands off of Barcelona. Don't worry this isn't a vacation. Did you really think I would be going somewhere so soon without swimming being involved? The meet this weekend is the Championships of España, I will not be swimming since I have not been a resident of Spain for one year. However my host siblings are going to be swimming so I get the pleasure of tagging along and seeing some cool stuff...and hopefully some fast swimming.
Everyone on the swim team is really great, and I feel as though each week I get to know everyone just a little bit better. I've really been enjoying myself the past few weeks, not that I wasn't to begin with. Thanksgiving was a bit of a challenge. I got to skype with just about all of my extended family, I got all the grandparents, and missed just a few aunts. It was really cool to see everyone and their tables and turkey's. However I wasn't sure if the skyping was for the better or the worse considering, I got a little more homesick with each session.
November has been quite the month, and I am looking forward to what the next 7 months have to offer.
Hey keep your head up. I know I don't know you, but I'm here with CIEE Gap Year Sevilla, and its been hard for me too. And all of my friends. I struggle everyday with the language and the culture. You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteOh Heather! Hang in there and listen to your friend, Davey! We knew it was hard for you skyping but so enjoyed our time catching up with you. We think of you all the time. I think you will have a tremendous experience in Mallorca. We love you to bits and pieces.
ReplyDeleteHi Heather--
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving to you. I was sorry to not have been able to figure out how to skype with you while I was in NYC. It is very understandable that seeing all the family brought on a wave of homesickness--I am sure that would have happened to me too. It is tough to be away from home and you are very brave to be able to talk about this, have your tears, feel the hard stuff. Keep on doing that, and maybe even showing some tears with your host family now and then might help...I am a big believer in the healing potential of crying with another person. I love you and I hope you have a fabulous trip to Mallorca! Wow--I never got to go there--I cant wait to hear about it.
love, connie